The raffle gods were on my side (for once) so I get to take part in this years The Writer's Voice!
You can find out more about the contest here ....or here . And here . Oh, and here too.
Contest Goddesses Cupid, Brenda, Monica , Krista, and Kimberly are putting it on.
Thank you so much for all your hard work!
And now onto the goods :)
Query:
Sixteen-year-old Olivia doesn't think she killed her dog, but her blood soaked pajamas say otherwise. If the death of her pet wasn't bad enough, now someone is tormenting her through cryptic e-mails and a painted locker that screams “Murderer”. At first she writes it off as a cruel prank, but after her drama teacher accuses her of stealing and Olivia’s crush, Smith, swears they hooked up, Olivia starts to wonder if someone is set on destroying her life or if she’s doing it to herself.
When her mom is attacked and hospitalized, Olivia is sent to the Royal Alexander Center for Mental Health. After a psych evaluation rules out paranoid personality disorder and a video tape catches someone who looks eerily similar to Olivia torching a school shed, she is released from the Center. Smith becomes her knight-in-denim armor when he discovers the identity of Olivia’s tormentor and turns the tables in their favor.
Armed with a taste for revenge, Olivia’s out to clear her name and get some payback. But each retaliating prank escalates and the price of her revenge could be the lives of the people she loves.
BEAUTIFUL MALEVOLENCE is a young adult thriller completed at 50, 000 words. My novel will appeal to fans of PRETTY LITTLE LIARS by Sara Shepard and Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian's BURN FOR BURN.
First 250:
I have to bury my best friend today.
Right now, Dad is outside digging a hole next to the oak tree in the backyard. Mom is on her knees at the head of the pit; she doesn't even look bothered that she’s ruining her new linen pants. She won’t stop adjusting the hastily thrown together wooden cross. She looped Tobin’s collar around it but it won’t sit right. I should go down there and help but I’m not sure if I’m welcome.
Mom can’t even look at me without crying.
She thinks I did it.
I don’t blame her. They found Tobin in my bed, his golden fur matted with blood, and the butcher knife in my hand even though I was asleep.
I don’t remember a thing, and I don’t think I did it, but it doesn't matter.
Tobin is dead and Mom hates me.
“Olivia, honey, do you want to come downstairs?” Dad calls from the kitchen.
Dad isn't mad at me—he knows I’d never hurt Tobin on purpose. He thinks maybe I was sleepwalking or something. They’re taking me to the nut house tomorrow to talk to some shrink.
I climb off my bed, thankful Mom put clean sheets on the rust-colored mattress, and shuffle through my door and down the stairs.
“Will she let me go outside?” I ask.
“Of course she will,” Dad says, holding out his hand.
I reach for it and we walk into the backyard together. It’s a beautiful, sunny day.
Oh you know I love this book. <3
ReplyDeleteCreepy! I love it! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWhat a hook! I'm, well...hooked. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteOoh, so creepy! Awesome! :D
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
You know what they say about killing the dog. And man, did you kill the dog! Holy cow. This concept totally freaked me out--and I like it.
ReplyDeleteOoh, I agree, so creepy! This sounds awesome!
ReplyDeleteI am intrigued! :)
ReplyDeleteSo creepy!! I wanna read! Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! One note though, BURN FOR BURN was co-written by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian so probably want to give them both credit when you reference the book :)
ReplyDeleteWell I feel like a total ass! Thanks for the heads up :)
DeleteOoh, I'm hooked! I'd want to read this thriller. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYour query really paints a story. Well done. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteExcellent. Okay, I'm no coach, but one simple thing pops out at me that would add to the *wow* of the opening scene. If the query hadn't warned me that the 'best friend' is a dog, the opening words would throw a far more creeptastic punch. If there's a way to hold that detail back so the slap of the opener isn't blocked before it lands...
ReplyDeleteOnce again--not a coach. But I am a fan of your entry! G'luck.
Wow, this is really strong. Subtle and strong. Good voice and good, solid query. I hope this one gets picked up for a team.
ReplyDeleteYou just pull us right into the creepy with your first 250. I LOVE this! Not that the dog is dead, obviously - but the entire premise of this books screams I WILL KEEP YOU UP UNTIL YOU FINISH ME! Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteGreat first line! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThis is intense! This was an awesome read and I would definitely keep going (if only we could!!!). You have an awesome premise: it's a little creepy, full of mystery, and sounds like it will be really something else.
ReplyDeleteAwesome 250. I definitely want more just from the query, but the first page nails it well. Best of luck to you. :)
ReplyDeleteVery creepy. I also hear a little dark humour. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteI thought this was great! Love your premise. Good luck!
ReplyDelete